May 25, 2012

Everything is Connected

Recently, I received an email from a woman who was very concerned about her sister. Her sister had had extreme symptoms of an eating disorder for many years. This woman was highly anxious to bring her sister in for a consultation. However, a few days later the woman emailed me again to say that her sister had refused to come and see me.

I replied and said that while it was a shame that her sister was not ready to engage in therapy, all was not lost. I encouraged this woman to come and see me herself and to bring as many supports as she could I believe that by working with the sister, changes in the family system can also help and influence her sister and her eating disorder.

When one looks at life as a system in which all of us are connected, there is much to be done even if the sufferer refuses to come in for treatment. Consider your own life: Are your loved ones, co-workers, or even chance encounters influential? We are social creatures to our core.

In a few months I will be publishing a book entitled, ‘You Can Solve Your Family’s Problems’. It is a practical self help book and shows you how you have the power to make profound changes within your family.

As the poet John Dunn said, “No man is an island”. We are all profoundly affected by our environment and one another.

By working with loved ones, who are often the most influential, to change the environment that is supporting and maintaining the problem/eating disorder, we can initiate changes in the problem itself.

Please let us know your thoughts and experiences.

Yours in health,

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Endorsements from Clients

  • Hello Charles! I am unsure if you will even remember who I am haha, but this is [name withheld] – I saw you in (I think) 2017 with anorexia.

  • My wife and I felt quite emotional last Monday after our short Zoom session. All three of us hugged. It felt like the end of a relatively short but profoundly enriching journey with you which started in June at your home office on Waiheke Island.

  • Dear Dr Fishman Thank you so much for this website. I have a long history of swinging between bulimia and compulsive over-eating. I am currently a compulsive over-eater.