June 3, 2012

Carpe Diem

That Latin phase, meaning sieze the day, has a special relevance for people suffering from eating disorders.

Today is the day to make changes. Seize the opportunity to start down the path you want to go down.

I recently met a mother and her daughter who had put off addressing problems in their relationship or making any significant changes in their lives for many years. Even though there were multiple problems and grumblings stemming from these issues, they remained unaddressed.

The daughter had an eating disorder and was school avoidant. The mother stayed at home all day with her daughter, forsaking her own life and well-being. Although the mother was somewhat motivated to make changes, she felt trapped by her daughter, and consistently stayed home day in and day out.

The important issue is, if one member refuses to change, that doesn’t mean the other person can’t change. The mother needed to change, and in her doing so this can positively affect the daughter into action. The mother needed to start living her own life and modelling a positive, action filled life for her daughter.

The sooner you can start making changes the better. Aristotle said, “If you want to change a habit, just change it”.

While change can be difficult, it is important to understand the urgency.

While the mother needed to ensure that her daughter was safe, she also needed to get out of the house and become a role-model for positive action for her daughter. The daughter would then see her mother changing and would then be challenged to make changes herself.

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Endorsements from Clients

  • Hello Charles! I am unsure if you will even remember who I am haha, but this is [name withheld] – I saw you in (I think) 2017 with anorexia.

  • My wife and I felt quite emotional last Monday after our short Zoom session. All three of us hugged. It felt like the end of a relatively short but profoundly enriching journey with you which started in June at your home office on Waiheke Island.

  • Dear Dr Fishman Thank you so much for this website. I have a long history of swinging between bulimia and compulsive over-eating. I am currently a compulsive over-eater.