June 3, 2012

Carpe Diem

That Latin phase, meaning sieze the day, has a special relevance for people suffering from eating disorders.

Today is the day to make changes. Seize the opportunity to start down the path you want to go down.

I recently met a mother and her daughter who had put off addressing problems in their relationship or making any significant changes in their lives for many years. Even though there were multiple problems and grumblings stemming from these issues, they remained unaddressed.

The daughter had an eating disorder and was school avoidant. The mother stayed at home all day with her daughter, forsaking her own life and well-being. Although the mother was somewhat motivated to make changes, she felt trapped by her daughter, and consistently stayed home day in and day out.

The important issue is, if one member refuses to change, that doesn’t mean the other person can’t change. The mother needed to change, and in her doing so this can positively affect the daughter into action. The mother needed to start living her own life and modelling a positive, action filled life for her daughter.

The sooner you can start making changes the better. Aristotle said, “If you want to change a habit, just change it”.

While change can be difficult, it is important to understand the urgency.

While the mother needed to ensure that her daughter was safe, she also needed to get out of the house and become a role-model for positive action for her daughter. The daughter would then see her mother changing and would then be challenged to make changes herself.

Leave a Reply

Connect with Facebook

Recent Comments

  • carole: this makes a lot of sense to me too.I instead of asking and asking for help with my partner and kids do the...
  • Jennifer: Try looking up F.E.A.S.T. on the internet and going onto ‘Around the Dinner Table’. It is a...
  • Jenny: What about spitting? My daughter has changed from anorexia, to a habit of chewing but not swallowing food....
  • Jenny: I just showed my other daughter this (the one without an eating disorder) and she looked skeptical… Do...
  • pip: He’s just moved to CREDS today after his second sectioning. Hoping this is the break we are needing

Subscribe by email

Book: Enduring Change in Eating Disorders

Enduring Change in Eating Disorders - Book Cover

Dr Fishman is the author of 'Enduring Change in Eating Disorders – Interventions with long -term results' (Brunner-Routledge 2004).

This book presents the powerful and proven effective model of Intensive Structural Family Therapy and its application to the treatment of eating disorders.