Jane, a young woman with increasingly out of control bulimia, consulted with me. She had been staying with an Aunt who felt that as her guardian, it was her responsibility to give her niece advice in all areas of her life. Jane was inundated with a slew of comments each day: “Your hair doesn’t look very good today”; “When are you going to get a real job?”; “When are you going to start dating?” “What you going to do with those teeth of yours?”
Jane was furious at the avalanche of unsolicited “good advice”. In the session we discussed why she didn’t respond to her Aunt. Jane said that she did not want to her hurt her. We discussed that if Jane said to her Aunt, “I care about you very much and do not want to hurt you; if I want your advice I will ask you for it”, would this hurt her Aunt? Not only is this the honest thing to do, it also guarantees that there not be a build up of hostilities between Jane and her Aunt. Furthermore Jane will not lose control with her eating.
These seemingly minor insults make eating disoders flare. Is best to use your power as a person, supported by your “text buddy” to educate the these helpful people.
We invite you to join our community, and again we encourage you to get a text buddy to support you control your eating disorder.