There is a profound relationship between people feeling good about themselves and their being able to control their eating disorder. If the relationships in your life are making you feel bad, the eating disorder is exacerbated. When there are irritations in our lives, in terms of relationships, our ideas about our physical body change and the desire to lose weight, one way or the other, emerges.
The important thing to realise is that the person who is feeling that there is something wrong with her is simply internalising the anger generated from the relationship. The person then doesn’t know what to about their feelings, and in an attempt to improve their mood they turn to their physical body. We have been trained in Western society to think, “It must be my body”, and, “My problems would be resolved if I lost weight”.
As I have said elsewhere it’s looking for resolution of the difficulties in the wrong place. It is not the weight; it is not the absence of discipline to diet. It’s that these relationships are making you feel bad about yourself. Once you address these relationships, the eating disorder tendencies will recede.
What we are advocating is that one has a support, a person who supports you as you address these relationships. Eating disorders often increase social isolation. Gaining the support of one person is an important step that addresses the social isolation that makes eating disorders worse.