From M on “Bulimic since 14″ to Sheryl
Hi Sheryl,
You are not alone.
I understand completely how you feel. I was anorexic at age 12-14 and then became bulimic and have lived with this ‘controlling’ disease for over 24 years. I, like you, am intelligent and energetic, once with a strong willpower but completely helpless to this disease. For years and years I have wanted to overcome it and have continued down the same shameful path. My family have been aware of my situation for years, and I continue to (try to) deceive them but I am sure they know what I am still doing. I feel so ashamed of myself and any meal I have with them I feel I have to be on my best behaviour and pretend I am ‘normal’. I often think about being granted three wishes and I would use all three on turning my life around as I can’t seem to do it myself. I also feel so lonely trying to deal with a constant and obsessive battle. I just wish it was as simple as turning off a switch to change things but I realise it is a very difficult journey, especially when I have !
been doing it for so long. I also suffer from depression which I think was triggered by my anorexia. Like you, I also believe there will be a turning point for me. It will be like winning lotto!
Kindest regards, M
Wow.. I am twenty two years old and have been suffering from the same obsessive behaviour for only four years but I am trapped! I want to help myself but I am completely powerless. I saw a documentary about people who wake up in the middle of the night and gorge them selves in their sleep- I feel I have the same but I am awake and cannot help myself anymore than if I was completely asleep. It makes me so sad that I am wasting my life away. I wish everyone who’s mind itches at them with insecurity and delusional thoughts the power to just be happy, smile and look forward.
Hi there. I can truly sympathize with you girls and although I have been only suffering from bulimia for about 6 years, anyone that suffers at all knows that no matter what period of time one has to deal with an eating disorder, there is no lessening of the pain.
I guess what I am hoping is that someone out there who has recovered, or is in remission could maybe post us a little hope and let us know what worked for them, or how it feels to have come out the otherside. I to have severe depression and I know it’s often hard to distinguish which came first, the depression or the eating disorder.. as both can fuel one another, but if someone has any suggestions whatsoever that could help at least one of us to turn a corner that would be wonderful
thankyou
C
Dear Cara,
Thanks for your heart felt letter. Everyone who works with this problems is sensitive and aware of the pain it engenders.
As noted in my website, I see these problems as very treatable. I see them based in relationships which can be modified.
In Jan, I plan to introduce an educational–networking approach to aid suffers to connect with their supports to help them identify and address relationships that exacerbate the eating disorder.
Kind regards,
Dr. Charles Fishman
Hi there. I am on a mission to recover from my ED. It has been years now and I have started a blog which I find quite helpful, its great because it is the first time i have look at Pro-recovery sites instead of the opposite.
my life has become totally unmanageable. I am no longer working and my inner dialogue is the loudest, meanest and most frequent thinking it has ever been.
when i see that one step in recovery is to bring significant people to therapy sessions this idea scares me as i dont really want to tell everyone i have an ED.
some of the most significant people in my life dont know about my eating problem.